When I was pregnant I took that matter very seriously. I studied every book, webpage and information available, knew exactly what would happen next and when the baby in the womb would finally be the size of a water melon. During the entire 9 months it was all about being healthy, feeling great, and getting a lot of attention from everyone, but I never gave much thought to the fact that this whole project will actually result in having a baby. A live and fully functional baby. Then one day, all of a sudden (well, over 30 hours) a baby popped out. Completely unprepared and surprised I soon found out that having a baby and being a mother comes with many many aspects that I had never though or heard of before. These are in order of appearance:
  • The only time you ever wish for your baby to cry is right when it is being born – the most assuring sound that everything is okay.
  • It is amazing how extremely happy and immediately in love you can be with a squished and slimy newborn.
  • After just a few hours all instincts have kicked in and things you have never done before become second nature.
  • The mother’s baby belly does not disappear with the baby being born. People will still ask you for a few weeks when your baby is due.
  • After one day you can distinguish between “hungry-cry”, full-diaper-cry”, and “mommy-just-hold-me-for-no-reason-cry”
  • Milk is not immediately readily available. The production has to be kicked on by baby’s sucking action.
  • Then one morning you wake up with new super boobs. Big, firm, and full of fresh milk.
  • In the first week hormones go crazy and you can cry all day for many reasons or no reason at all. Your emotions keep playing tricks on you and make you cry because:
    • The baby cries
    • You are jealous on how much love husband gives the baby and are afraid that he won’t need to love you anymore and therefore go get a haircut, put on make-up, and try to squeeze yourself in sexy pre-pregnancy jeans only to fail and break down crying for fear that he wont love you anymore, and so on;
    • You were told to take it easy and stay in bed, but you feel that you need to be productive.
    • etc.
  • When baby seems to sleep well for the first two weeks, just you wait until the first growth spurt hits
  • Babies actually don’t sleep for most of the day because they are too busy eating. On busy days a baby can be attached to your boob for almost 24 hours. Makes you feel like a milk cow and wish your husband had temporary boobs to help out.
  • Being the only person in the house with the power to nurse can feel quite overwhelming
  • Sleep deprivation is not the hardest part. The hardest part is letting go of simple daily activities such as bathroom breaks, showers, healthy breakfasts or meals that take longer than 5 minutes to prepare. Getting two bills paid can become a matter of an entire day.
  • If there is a break from care taking, you have to make the difficult choice between personal time or sleep.
  • Breastfeeding is not as easy and “naturally” given as it seems. There can be too little milk, too much milk spraying out too forceful, baby not eating right, mother not eating right and baby reacting to certain foods, etc.
  • Babies can be too lazy to suck on a boob, when the bottle makes eating so much easier. But the next feeding they prefer the boobs again.
  • Babies don’t just fall asleep when they are tired, they become cranky and have to be forced to sleep with a pacifier and constant motion.
  • Even when baby unexpectedly sleeps through the night, you can’t because the boobies are getting rock hard, leak, and soak your pajamas.
  • There is always a reason to worry: If baby eats too little or too much. If baby doesn’t sleep or sleeps too much.
  • Your brain will not work for at least 4-6 weeks. Anything that is not written down somewhere will be forgotten and lost in space forever.
  • It gets worse before it gets better. Everything gets soo much better when baby starts to smile and talk around 6 weeks.
  • You can go for a 40 minute walk with the baby in the stroller, just staring and smiling at his perfect face in amazement and not realize where you were or how you got home.
  • Being a mother is the most greatesst thing and the biggest challenge at the same time.