Milo is doing his homework as sloppily as possible and drawing outside of the lines.

Nic: “Come on, Milo you can do better than that. You draw like a 3 year old kid.”

Milo: “That’s just my style.”

 

Felix as we are driving on the highway: “The other cars are going slower than us because they don’t know where their hyper speed button is, right mom?”

 

Milo: “At school Emma is always following me because she is in love with me.”

Nic: “Aww that’s sweet.”

Milo: “No, its not! She loves me.”

Nic: “Yes, what’s wrong with that?”

Milo: “But she is way too young to get married!”

 

Nic after carrying Felix’s motorcycle toy for a few minutes: “Felix, can you please hold your own toy.”

Felix: “But I look awesome without holding anything though.”

Hi guys, what’s up. Anybody still here? I know it’s been awfully quiet on this blog lately and that’s mainly because you know why. Time. Who has time anymore for this stuff? Actually, it’s mostly because I have successfully met my goal last year to relax more and do less. Instead of doing home projects, I’ve drastically upped my TV watching and book reading and going out going. That was a nice change, but this year I’m ready to turn the creative juices back on and hopefully get a good mix of everything going. For a start, here are some of the conversations you’ve missed:

 

The other day I discovered my first white hair and showed it to Milo. His first immediate reaction: “I’ll be really sad when you die.” Later on: “Can I see your old hair again?”

 

One night I was trying to motivate the kids to put their PJs on as fast as possible so that we would have more time to read. Usually that works by making it a race. So I started putting my PJs on and said to Milo: “Come on, Milo, faster or I’m gonna win.”

Milo: “It’s not a race mom.”

Me: “Really? But what if it is a race and I’m winning?”

Milo: “But it’s not a race.”

Me: “How do you know it’s not a race?” (Fully expecting to win this argument)

Milo: “Well, because you didn’t say ready-set-go and started without me.” (Can’t argue with that)

 

One night while doing homework, Milo decided that he could connect all the individual letters in a word to each other, so he was practically spontaneously writing in cursive. Lincoln said:” Wow, Milo, how did you learn that? You are writing in cursive, that’s a dying form of writing.”

Later on Felix asked Milo what he was writing and Milo replied: “This is how the old people write before they are almost dead.”

Even later Milo asked me: “Mommy, can you show me how to write a dead b again.”

 

So, Felix’s language brain area must have just expanded exponentially, because all of a sudden he is talking in full sentences and is now an official contributor to this popular blog category.

Felix sees a QR code and asks: “Is this minecraft?”

Felix sees a little duckling: “Aww, so cute!” Then he sees two ducklings: “Aww, two so cutes.”

Milo comes in from school: “Mom, you have to come out and see this. Felix is leaking chicken nuggets out of his mouth.” What I did see when I looked, was a Felix covered in his vomit.

Hello again. As Milo is approaching the big 4, his language skills and reasoning improves drastically, so these gems are getting rarer and are replaced with amazingly logical and knowledgeable statements. We’ll get to those too. In the mean time, here are some of the recent out takes:

 

Imagine this with Milo singing in the bath tub: “I don’t have a car wash. But I will. Have one. I will have a car wash. Yahoo.”

 

Nic: “Milo, don’t pull that shower hose out of the wall.”

Milo: “But please can I do it? I will say sorry.”

 

Milo: “This is my pillow store.”

Linc” “How much does this pillow cost?”

Milo: “5 million Dollars.”

Linc: “I don’t have that much money. How much is the other one?”

Milo: “This one costs 1 inches.”

Most ridiculous statement from the guy who never WANTS to eat: “I never get any food here!”

 

Linc: “Milo, you are smart.”

Milo: “No, I’m not.”

Linc: “Yes, you are. I know you’re smart because you are my son.”

Milo: “Are you kidding me?”

 

Nic: “What should Bobo (guy in a book) do to reach up to the door?”

Milo: “Jump real high like Ironman.”

 

Milo discovered Siri: “Call firetruck.”

Siri: Sorry, I can’t find a contact called Bye Chuck. Would you like me to search the web for it?”

Milo: “Please call firetruck, please, please.”

 

Nic: “Milo, do you want to play soccer?”

Milo jumping on the couch: “Not now. I’m playing the boring game. It’s called jumping is boring.”

 

Milo gives Nic a flower. Much later on: “You have to run when you play soccer. Not stand. If you don’t run, I’m gonna take your flower away.”

 

Nic to Milo sitting on the toilet: “Hurry up, I need to pee too.”

Milo: “Hold your penis so it doesn’t come out.”

Nic: “I don’t have a penis.”

Milo: “That’s because you are a girl. But my girls at school have penises, cause they are my friends.”

 

Some time close to Halloween.

Milo: “Mom, I know what’s inside of us. We have bones inside.”

Nic: “And what do the bones do?”

Milo:”They scare people.”

 

Milo farts and says: “Oh no! Now I’m gonna get small again like a balloon.”

 

Milo brings a bunch of superhero masks to Linc and Nic and says: “Come on guys, let’s hero up!”

 

:-)

(This picture shows the Batman that Milo drew this morning. It was the first time that he intentionally drew something specific and it actually turned out to look very remotely like what he wanted it to be.)

 

Nic: “Felix is sad.”

Milo: “Maybe he needs a friend.”

Nic: “Can you be his friend?”

Milo: “No, I can’t. Mommy is my best friend already. And daddy. And Felix.”

 

Milo is using his flashlight to check my teeth out: “Your mouth is very broken.”

 

Milo: “I got a hairy cut.”

 

Milo while brushing my hair: “Don’t move. I’m cutting your hair and making you a new one.”

 

Milo wants to drive my car.

Nic: “You can drive it when you are bigger.”

Milo: “I’m gonna drive cars when I’m big and when mommy is small.”

(Funny how they think that our roles will reverse at some point and they get to be the big person while their parents will be the kids. Dream on.)

 

 

Milo: Oh no, the airplane is flying away! It’s scared of us.

 

Milo: I didn’t sleep so well.

Nic: Why not?

Milo: I had a dream. And there was a finger.

 

Nic: Can you say it in German too?

Milo: No, I can’t

Nic: Why not?

Milo: Cause I’m not Mommy yet.

 

Milo totally out of context: A rocket.

Nic: What?

Milo: No, mommy be quiet. I’m talking to Felix. Felix, a rocket, yes or no?

(No idea what he wanted from Felix)

 

Nic: Please stop it, Milo. You are hurting me. (He was playing cars on my head)

Milo: And then you be sad and cry real loud and wake up daddy?